If there were people that actually read my blog and are upset that I was AWOL for so long all I can say to you is "WHERE WAS YOUR BLOG?!" <---in a very apologetic tone.
If you could summarize life over the past year for me I would simply say:
"Different."
Yeah, it's different. No more class. No more H-dubs. No more professors that I never talked to anyways. No more roommates. No more bar crawls. No more campus crusade. No more..... MSU. The atmosphere of my life has transitioned from the green campus of MSU, to being surrounded by diverse people (primarily Japanese), offices, and cubicles during the day and downtown feel of Cincinnati, OH in the afternoons.
I have a cat. I have a studio apartment. I have a truck. I have furniture that I own. I have a job. I have a paycheck with that job. I have a frequent flyer number. I have rewards points on credit cards. I have too many computers. I have a mountain of student loans. I have dishes. I have drapes for my windows. I have business cards. I have a title. These are a hand full of things I didn't have 1 year ago.
I have STUFF.
How'd that happen? It's like college spat me out and some how stuff followed with it. It's a whole lot of responsibility that comes with moving away. Things that you don't think about when you are in college. I know some people think it's great to have independence and to move to a place by themselves, but really you have to be prepared to handle it.
Especially spending money. If you just spend money and you don't track what is happening to it, you'll never come to realize how ordering pizza every other day isn't the best way to utilize your resources.
I've come to learn that even though it's nice to be supporting yourself, it doesn't mean that you are living a life of purpose. Sometimes I think about how it would be nice to move to some place like South America and just live in the trees, hunting for food, and really just owning nothing. But then I think to myself about air conditioning and gummi worms, and then a life living in trees doesn't sound all that great. Makes me think of the movie fern gully. I bet that movie was written by environmentalists and Al Gore.
All these changes are almost sad to think about, but yet, I don't feel sad. I've felt that God has some how comforted my heart to be ok with moving away and starting a life in a different city having different responsibilities, a transition of His purpose in my life.
As my life is transitioning, I also feel that I must continue to press on with my faith. I'll explain.
I feel that in America, change is common. New jobs, schools, children, status quo, hobbies, vacations, houses, cities, towns, cars, movies, careers, technology, etc. Things change ALL THE TIME. I feel that when people are preparing for or are dealing with change, they kinda try to find a spot that's most comfortable for them and wait for things to settle down before they really press on with something else. But sometimes the things that are our secondary objectives will change and cause us to lose focus on our primary objective or purpose.
I am concerned about getting lost in all the "stuff" rather than being focused on what I have been created for, and what God has planned for my life. It's easy to think life is about TV's, cars, houses, and toys instead of caring for and having compassion on people.
My purpose is living among people.
It's interacting with people at work.
It's living with people at home.
It's loving my family.
It's spending time with my friends.
It's caring for those that are less fortunate.
It's helping strangers.
What my purpose is not for:
Me.
And the only way that can be accomplished is if I remain in the love Christ has for me.
"I am the Vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me, and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing." ~John 15:5
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
J-Unit
One week from today I got sick. I hate being sick, just like everybody else. The problem with my physical sicknesses is that they tend to leak into my spiritual life. If I'm physically sick, spiritually I tend to be sick. I pretty much layed on the couch for three or four days and did nothing, ignoring God each day. I felt pretty worthless, which in turn made me feel like my life overall was pretty worthless. This isn't very healthy. I then one day after feeling better decided that I've ignored God too long. I said to God, "God, I've been pretty selfish lately, and I know that you probably aren't too happy with me. I've missed you though and I need you now. I'm going to read your word today and I ask that you refresh me even though I pretty much don't deserve it." God answered my prayer, and then some.
I read John 17. If you are unfamiliar with John 17, it consists of Jesus longest recorded prayer that he had before he was arrested to be crucified and taken from his disciples. What I love so much about this prayer is it's theme. Jesus prays for their unity. He prays that they would be one just as Jesus is one with the father. He says this prayer for his disciples and for those who will believe in Jesus through their message. Listen to what he prays in verse 22 and 23...
"I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me."
Boom shakalaka. Lets repeat that... Jesus prays that we be unified... to be one in Christ. I believe this is the type of unity that Pauls talks about in 1 Corinthians 12 when he says that we are one body. We must care for each other, love each other, help each other... so that the WORLD may know Jesus. Our love for each other in Christ is a testimony to others. It is the Gospel. Where has this gone? What happened along the way to make our lives so independent of each other? If we live apart from each other, then we can't be unified. We don't love. Like in 1 Corinthians 13, without love I am only a resounding gone, I am nothing, and I gain nothing. Sounds like the church today.
So amidst all this unity stuff, and trying to fight past my tears because of how powerfully it spoke to me... I really began to wonder if I had this unity. God answered that too. Throughout the next few days God would place people in my life that edified me and encouraged me telling me how I have impacted their lives... and how that has impacted the lives of others. That meant more to me than any compliment on my personality. It was a compliment that said, because of who God has made you to be, God has used you to show his truth and Jesus to me... I finally get it. That lifted my heart... that made me cry. Thank you God for showing how much you love me.
I read John 17. If you are unfamiliar with John 17, it consists of Jesus longest recorded prayer that he had before he was arrested to be crucified and taken from his disciples. What I love so much about this prayer is it's theme. Jesus prays for their unity. He prays that they would be one just as Jesus is one with the father. He says this prayer for his disciples and for those who will believe in Jesus through their message. Listen to what he prays in verse 22 and 23...
"I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me."
Boom shakalaka. Lets repeat that... Jesus prays that we be unified... to be one in Christ. I believe this is the type of unity that Pauls talks about in 1 Corinthians 12 when he says that we are one body. We must care for each other, love each other, help each other... so that the WORLD may know Jesus. Our love for each other in Christ is a testimony to others. It is the Gospel. Where has this gone? What happened along the way to make our lives so independent of each other? If we live apart from each other, then we can't be unified. We don't love. Like in 1 Corinthians 13, without love I am only a resounding gone, I am nothing, and I gain nothing. Sounds like the church today.
So amidst all this unity stuff, and trying to fight past my tears because of how powerfully it spoke to me... I really began to wonder if I had this unity. God answered that too. Throughout the next few days God would place people in my life that edified me and encouraged me telling me how I have impacted their lives... and how that has impacted the lives of others. That meant more to me than any compliment on my personality. It was a compliment that said, because of who God has made you to be, God has used you to show his truth and Jesus to me... I finally get it. That lifted my heart... that made me cry. Thank you God for showing how much you love me.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
NOLA
New Orleans was torn apart by hurricane Katrina last year, and I chose to go down to NOLA to help clean up the mess over break. It has been 6 months since the hurricane and there is so much destruction left to be taken care of that
it will probably be ten years until things return to normal. I went with 115 people that was organized by campus crusade for christ to an area of New Orleans called St. Bernard Parrish. St. Bernard Parrish was more of a middle class area that mainly was flooded up about 15 ft. There were many areas in New Orleans, like the 9th ward, that were completely destroyed, so that nothing could be salvaged. Since these areas require complete removal of debris and would take a long time for anybody ever to return to the area, instead we were sent to areas that could be salvaged were people could return to their homes. We were asked to completely gut homes down to their studs and frames. It was the dirtiest work I have ever had to do in my life. Black mold was everywhere in these homes, requiring special masks to prevent inhalation. We went into these homes destroying everything, and then pulling it out of the house and placing it on a debris pile by the curb.
It was worth the experience. It was worth leaving my life of comfort, organization, and the process of furthering my education to come down to a city torn apart by a natural unforeseen disaster to clean up a bit, and to love like Jesus. It was unnatural to be in a mode of destruction and disorder though. Garbage didn't have a place, so you would just throw it in the street. Stop lights didn't function, so instead temporary stop signs were placed to create some traffic order. Apparently it was quite common for people to ignore these signs and cause major accidents. Destroying things isn't always very natural either. Dual welding hammers and going to town on some kitchen tile definitely brought out some fury and fun in me.
Amidst this disorder there was some adventure. One day Jeff Blevin's, Dan Shontz, and I decided to do some exploring. You know, the kind of exploring when you were a kid that had no limits. It consisted of a search for 'gators, a walk through a toxic waste dump, visiting a revolutionary war battlefield and graveyard, a 100 ft memorial discovery, the mississippi river, barge jumping, throwing rocks up a water drainage pipe, and an attempt to break into a slave plantation mansion. Wow, how refreshing was that. It was refreshing to just hang out with men and be adventurous together. There was this sense of freedom that came with it. Freedom that consisted of no homework, no classes, no test, and no work. The only responsibility we had was watching out for each other, enjoying each other's company, and letting ourselves be free and adventurous. We succeeded, and in those moments I felt like God was smiling on our spirits.
BTW, I met some fantastic people. That tends to happen when you spend a week with people you don't know. What impressed me the most about these people? Amidst all the undesirable circumstances, I rarely heard anybody complain. That made the trip very pleasant. Thanks everybody.
it will probably be ten years until things return to normal. I went with 115 people that was organized by campus crusade for christ to an area of New Orleans called St. Bernard Parrish. St. Bernard Parrish was more of a middle class area that mainly was flooded up about 15 ft. There were many areas in New Orleans, like the 9th ward, that were completely destroyed, so that nothing could be salvaged. Since these areas require complete removal of debris and would take a long time for anybody ever to return to the area, instead we were sent to areas that could be salvaged were people could return to their homes. We were asked to completely gut homes down to their studs and frames. It was the dirtiest work I have ever had to do in my life. Black mold was everywhere in these homes, requiring special masks to prevent inhalation. We went into these homes destroying everything, and then pulling it out of the house and placing it on a debris pile by the curb.
It was worth the experience. It was worth leaving my life of comfort, organization, and the process of furthering my education to come down to a city torn apart by a natural unforeseen disaster to clean up a bit, and to love like Jesus. It was unnatural to be in a mode of destruction and disorder though. Garbage didn't have a place, so you would just throw it in the street. Stop lights didn't function, so instead temporary stop signs were placed to create some traffic order. Apparently it was quite common for people to ignore these signs and cause major accidents. Destroying things isn't always very natural either. Dual welding hammers and going to town on some kitchen tile definitely brought out some fury and fun in me.
Amidst this disorder there was some adventure. One day Jeff Blevin's, Dan Shontz, and I decided to do some exploring. You know, the kind of exploring when you were a kid that had no limits. It consisted of a search for 'gators, a walk through a toxic waste dump, visiting a revolutionary war battlefield and graveyard, a 100 ft memorial discovery, the mississippi river, barge jumping, throwing rocks up a water drainage pipe, and an attempt to break into a slave plantation mansion. Wow, how refreshing was that. It was refreshing to just hang out with men and be adventurous together. There was this sense of freedom that came with it. Freedom that consisted of no homework, no classes, no test, and no work. The only responsibility we had was watching out for each other, enjoying each other's company, and letting ourselves be free and adventurous. We succeeded, and in those moments I felt like God was smiling on our spirits.
BTW, I met some fantastic people. That tends to happen when you spend a week with people you don't know. What impressed me the most about these people? Amidst all the undesirable circumstances, I rarely heard anybody complain. That made the trip very pleasant. Thanks everybody.
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