And the inconsistent sleep pattern continues

Yay, I've been up since 6:30AM after falling asleep at 2:30AM. I can't sleep. I feel like a million things are going through my head. I'm sure most of you can relate (if not all). I've been faced with some challenges lately that have required action on my part. Yeah, there is no passive way out of them. Unfortunately, I can't get into specifics about some of them.

One thing that has been blowing my mind has been the whole graduation thing. I, Mr. Ryan Shannon, will be graduating in May. I have a nice job lined up, plenty of friendships behind me, a great relationship with God, and I'm still SCARED TO DEATH. Hello the "real world" here comes Ryan. I'm going to be hit with some struggles quick, fast, and in-a-hurry after graduation.

Primarily it will be my detachment from the relationships that have developed over these past years (that have been AMAZING), and that's where a lot of faith will be required. For somebody that tries to be "independent and set apart" I fear loneliness and lack of genuine relationships. Obviously, once I move, I'll have to pursue other people. I can't just sit back hoping great and amazing people will fall into my lap (I tried that in Wisconsin.... yeah those were some lonely months). Specifically, I will need to find a group of men that I can connect with. I need men to support me as a man. Without REAL men in my life, I hit the floor.

Then here comes another issue... am I going to be fed or will I feed others? What I mean by that is this: will I be constructive and positive to others around me or will I be somebody that drains life out of others (hence being "needy")? I'm kinda aiming for the positive approach. Oh Lord give me wisdom in that time of my life, and help me to live confidently with you.

Well, I guess since I can't sleep I'll do some reading. Oh by the way, if you're reading my blogs, thanks. I post these with the intention people will read them, and it means a lot to hear things from people that read stuff in my blog. That's a huge encouragement to me. Peace out.