Including God

I feel like the depth of our Christian sub-culture is best represented in our depth of most of our prayers. To me it seems like the most common prayer is for the health of others and for healing. How easily do we associate prayer requests with the health or healing of somebody? I'm not saying praying for these things are bad by any means. I just feel we have limited our prayers to the things that are seen... like the physical. Don’t we have other needs that Jesus wants to fill for us too? I was reading at Beaners today and I watched an older man come into the coffee shop. He walked with a very strong limp, the kind that looked like certain joints didn’t function like they’re supposed to. I wanted to pray for the man, which was surprising in itself, and I continued to do so. In the process I realized this… Wasn’t it true that everybody in that coffee shop needed some kind of healing? I looked around and imagined people that have been lied to, cheated on, physically abused, worked to death, and lonely; each requiring healing… each requiring Jesus. I prayed for that. I prayed for the fact that we hurt and cry and are broken so that Jesus can restore us.

Whatever happened to the heart of talking to Jesus? Whatever happened to bringing Jesus into all that we do in our lives? I sometimes have to pray for God to get me out of bed, and it's that dependence on Him I'm beginning to realize is necessary for real life. I hate being dependent. I'd rather be independent, but that's not how God designed it. We have needs. We depend on SOMETHING in EVERYTHING that we do.

Why do we stumble with our words in prayer because we hate looking stupid, not to God, but to others? I can't wait for the day when I can pray in front of others with humility. I would like to pray with the kind of humility that says "I suck at speaking to you God especially in front of others because I care too much about what they think of me." To be honest, I feel like I am horrible at prayer in public or even at prayer in general. I am always trying to develop prayer like a skill. I wonder how God feels about me trying to turn talking to Him into a matter of skill and talent. Isn't it funny how prayer is about talking to God, yet I try to turn it into a show about how spiritual I can be? Wow, I feel pretty darn foolish. What kind of BS am I trying to pull? God you’re bigger than me, so please remind me. If it requires a beating, I would be thankful, because I'd rather live a life fully dependant on you than selfishly for myself.

God, help me to include you in my life, especially in the areas of my life that my heart is holding back from.

Dive into subculture

Define Christian:

Those people that place Jesus emblems on their car, with the occasional "Jesus loves you" bumper sticker. They are the ones that pray together in huddles in public on the street corners. They have their Christian Music, TV, radio, coffee shops, "how-to" books, planners, journals, blogs, posters, websites, watches, and the endless amount of stuff that say "Jesus" on them. They place their favorite book in their facebook profile as "the Bible" (That's for you Joe). My personal favorite "Christians are those nice people" while other opinions can testify against even that. They have notes of scripture on their mirrors and above their bathroom toilets. They pray before their meals. They spend one day out of the week going into buildings where they all gather to sing songs and then listen to teaching for a half hour before shaking hands with friends and heading back home. Did I strike a nerve yet?

Among all this subculture I find a trend to label all that we do "Christian" and say that we are great with God, because of our boldness to throw a Christian blanket on ourselves. Underneath we are still a broken, whoring, selfish, and unloving group of people that need Christ. Christ still loves us, and only Christ can change that part of us. Stuff never will. Oh how I am super guilty of this.

Where is this community of people that love Jesus and love others? What ever happened to being in the world but not of the world? I feel like we have extracted ourselves completely from the reality that this world is broken and have placed ourselves into the false reality that if we completely submerge ourselves in Christian stuff that we are living like Christ wanted us to. But wasn't it Christ that was known as a friend of sinners? Wasn't he known for hanging out with the people that most Christians today would run away from? I think the reason that the church isn't growing anymore is that the church has failed (including myself) to become friends with and love the people of the world and has decided instead to hate them. People won't see Christ unless we show them who He is. Also, we won't shine Christ unless we realize that we are not God, but need Him and each other.

The Kingdom of Couches

Before I begin blogging about somethings after today I definately want to reference the book in which I have derived a lot of what I will talk about. This book is something that I highly recommend to individuals trying to understand some insight about biblical community. This book is called "The Kingdom of Couches" by Will Walker who is on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ at Texas. I would have to say it is quite a studly book. It's short, straight forward, and dipped in a pool of heart and knowledge. The book reads like a conversation in itself and flows really well.

Anyways, so lets get to the details. I'll probably try to Blog about all different kinds of things from this book, but I thought it would be a good idea to probably only blog about one thing at a time. I may just read this book two or three times in a row, because I feel that this true genuine community Will talks about speaks directly to where I am at. BTW, I want to give a shout out to Ann Maronik for referencing me to this book.

This is stated on the back of the book:

Along the way I discovered something I didn't expect: people. I realize that people are everywhere. My life began when I came out of a person, and since then, having never resided in Montana or in outer space, I've been immersed in humanity. This doesn't bother me in the least because I like people. I just never thought that I would need them.

We've been pretending, keeping others close enough to enjoy but distant enough to impress. The space between close and distant is the worst kind of loneliness, which is not that of being alone, but of being unknown.

We have been looking at redemption through the lens of individualism- manipulating it for our own gain. Somehow the focus became how much I am loved and forgiven and accepted, period. Somehow the process became one of isolated effort. Spiritual life has less and less to do with relationships, and is effectively disconnected from actual life altogether.

The thing about redemption though--the thing we've lost--is that it takes place in the context of community. God is not just redeeming persons, he is gathering himself a people. So community is both a means and an end. It's where we're going, and it's how we get there.

...and also on page 29 talking about community:

"Community" is a buzzword these days, and for good reason. But buzzwords tend to lose meaning or change meaning, and often community means just another activity, something on the to-do list of the Christian lifestyle. I knew what community was, and even experienced it, but I never believed I needed it until now. My journey in community over the last couple of years has transformed me in all the ways "self-help" never could.

Spirtual growth today is largely undertaken through self-help methods, which are characterized by our tendency to measure maturity by how much we do, how much we know, and how spiritual people think we are. The value we derive from such achievment is short-term at best, and it is ultimately undermined by the impression that one can accomplish spiritual maturity in isolation from other people. If we can grow on our own, even with God's help, then we have something to boast about before others. But if we need each other to grow, then our boasting is turned into humility. This is how community exposes our inadequacies and magnifies the power of the gospel as our only hope for personal and cultural transformation.

I love that. Woohoo! I'm excited for once.

Hear from me about this soon.

Struggling (or lack there of) with struggles

Slap in the face.

Punch in the gut.

Knife in the back.

Whatever you want to call it, I'm frustrated with somebody. This person continually fails me time and time again. I've watched him go completely against God's will countless times, and I'm really getting sick of it. I'm sick of the hippocracy, the lies, and the repeated failures.

This person is myself.

Well, that's where God's grace comes in, and I'm begining to realize how patient God is with me and how big his love is. BUT, I've also come to realize that step one is seeking after God's love, because just going through struggles just to become "better" is actually selfish at heart. I've stumble across this concept that I should live, do good, try my hardest, or whatever you want to call this function of life BECAUSE of God... because of what He has done, the love He has shown me, and that He calls me His son (1 John). I feel like I always try to present myself to God wrapped in my own false holiness and righteousness. Like I have to be purified by what I do all the time and call that "growth". I think that is where a lot of my frustrations are coming in. I'm still really trying to live under the law which is what Christ has set me free from and now I must live under grace (Romans 6).

I'm begining to find comfort in my humility, because it places me right where I should be, in Jesus' arms.