I feel like the depth of our Christian sub-culture is best represented in our depth of most of our prayers. To me it seems like the most common prayer is for the health of others and for healing. How easily do we associate prayer requests with the health or healing of somebody? I'm not saying praying for these things are bad by any means. I just feel we have limited our prayers to the things that are seen... like the physical. Don’t we have other needs that Jesus wants to fill for us too? I was reading at Beaners today and I watched an older man come into the coffee shop. He walked with a very strong limp, the kind that looked like certain joints didn’t function like they’re supposed to. I wanted to pray for the man, which was surprising in itself, and I continued to do so. In the process I realized this… Wasn’t it true that everybody in that coffee shop needed some kind of healing? I looked around and imagined people that have been lied to, cheated on, physically abused, worked to death, and lonely; each requiring healing… each requiring Jesus. I prayed for that. I prayed for the fact that we hurt and cry and are broken so that Jesus can restore us.
Whatever happened to the heart of talking to Jesus? Whatever happened to bringing Jesus into all that we do in our lives? I sometimes have to pray for God to get me out of bed, and it's that dependence on Him I'm beginning to realize is necessary for real life. I hate being dependent. I'd rather be independent, but that's not how God designed it. We have needs. We depend on SOMETHING in EVERYTHING that we do.
Why do we stumble with our words in prayer because we hate looking stupid, not to God, but to others? I can't wait for the day when I can pray in front of others with humility. I would like to pray with the kind of humility that says "I suck at speaking to you God especially in front of others because I care too much about what they think of me." To be honest, I feel like I am horrible at prayer in public or even at prayer in general. I am always trying to develop prayer like a skill. I wonder how God feels about me trying to turn talking to Him into a matter of skill and talent. Isn't it funny how prayer is about talking to God, yet I try to turn it into a show about how spiritual I can be? Wow, I feel pretty darn foolish. What kind of BS am I trying to pull? God you’re bigger than me, so please remind me. If it requires a beating, I would be thankful, because I'd rather live a life fully dependant on you than selfishly for myself.
God, help me to include you in my life, especially in the areas of my life that my heart is holding back from.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I never pray in groups because i don't want to worry about how i sound
plus whenever groups gather for prayer i feel more like listening, offering moral support, than speaking. i don't need to yammer to god all the time. i think sometimes it can be appropriate to be silent while others pray.
"If it requires beating, I would be thankful"- remember that quote Ryan Shannon.
Your heart was precious on this one thanks for pouring out on us.
Hey, ran across your blog through Joe's. Your posts are genuine. I find that is sometimes hard to do. I appreciate the depth of your thinking turned to post.
Post a Comment